News

Aug 22, 2023

CRKT Tactical Spork with EMP

Renowned knife and tool manufacturer CRKT announced its latest product—a tactical spork with miniature EMP. If you’ve ever found yourself in a survival situation where you needed both a spoon and a

Renowned knife and tool manufacturer CRKT announced its latest product—a tactical spork with miniature EMP. If you’ve ever found yourself in a survival situation where you needed both a spoon and a knife, CRKT has you covered. Plus, with the integrated single EMP (electromagnetic pulse) charge, it can disable ChatGPT before it takes over your vehicle or office.

According to the press release, the tactical spork is made from high-quality black-coated 304 stainless steel. It features a serrated edge on one side of the handle. The spork also comes with a handy sheath, so you can carry it with you wherever you go.

“We know that our customers demand tools that are both functional and versatile,” said a spokesperson for CRKT. “The tactical spork with integrated EMP meets those demands, and then some.”

The company positions the CRKT tactical spork as perfect for a variety of outdoor activities. This includes camping, hiking, fishing, and disabling pesky cell phone towers that emit dangerous levels of radiation. You can also use the tactical spork in self-defense situations, should you find yourself in a fight with someone armed with a Ryobi 4V taser.

The announcement has sparked a mixed reaction from the public. Some seem blown away by the prospect of a high-end multi-functional eating utensil. Others remain skeptical.

One Twitter user wrote, “Finally, I can get my family to turn off their cell phones at the dinner table!”

While a great multi-functional tool for outdoor enthusiasts and survivalists, the CRKT tactical spork is not TSA-safe for air travel. You can pack the spork with its serrated edge in your checked luggage provided it’s fully powered down*.

*You don’t want to accidentally activate a handheld EMP while in an airplane.

“We know that our customers are always on the move. We really struggled to find a way to make the tactical spork TSA-safe,” said the CRKT spokesperson. “Alas, we couldn’t quite meet all TSA regulations for carry-on items.”

Despite the mixed reactions to the announcement, it seems that CRKT has hit on something that people are excited about. The company has reported a surge in pre-orders for the tactical spork, and some retailers have already sold out of their initial stock.

Whether you’re a foodie, backpacker, hiker, or you just happen to live in Portland, the CRKT tactical spork is the perfect tool for all your outdoor and culinary needs.

Who knows, maybe in a few years, we’ll all be carrying tactical EMP sporks with us everywhere we go. After all, you never know when you might need to eat some soup while fending off a pack of experimental government-issue attack drones.

CRKT seems confident that the tactical spork will be a hit. In addition to selling through pre-orders quickly, it plans to release a second edition of the tactical spork in a variety of colors.

Click here to pre-order yours today.